TAGGED WITH JASON ROHRER

6635384

The War in Heaven

War, famine, Antichrist – with the exception of John the Revelator, who seems to have relished the idea, everybody has depicted Apocalypse as a big downer. Sure, there’s black comedy in the Francis Ford Coppola version, but technically the Vietnam War was only an apocalypse for those involved, and their families, and their friends…sundry proxy nations…anyway there’s no Antichrist there unless you count Robert Strange McNamara, and he’s not in that movie.Antichrist is the most inte...
6231842

KKK, Me Me Me, Wah Wah Wah

A couple of weeks ago, on Valentine’s Day, I was depositing a check at an ATM. A guy had his car pulled up next to the bank, its stereo blaring. I couldn’t hear the person I was talking to on the phone, so I told the guy his music was too fucking loud. His reaction was to threaten me with an ass kicking. He said there were no cops around, and asked whether I was going to take my beating like a man. Since he only had a few inches of height and reach advantage, I let him roll up and go toe-to-toe with me. ...
7618438

Virtue (a fiction)

I was at the hospital to visit a friend who had not long to live. He was a good friend in that we had at points hated each other. I knew terrible things about him, things that would have disgusted a stranger. We had shared triumph and remorse. He was young, but his death would consummate the misery of many who loved him. And since it was not I who had to die, I hoped it would come soon.I had visited with him and was leaving, leaving the trembly ruin of his face and body, leaving the nervous horror of his compan...
6189175

Rohrer Joins Faculty at Trump University

I’ve had to keep this under wraps, but today I can announce that I have accepted a full-time teaching position and will no longer be critiquing theater. Tony, Colin, I’m sorry you had to find out like this, but my new boss is adamant that nobody know anything before he does, and I got the word this morning.I’m leaving Los Angeles for Atlantic City, New Jersey, to teach dialectics, logic and critical analysis at the new Trump University, no longer an unaccredited online school but a traditional...
9901315

One Man's Ceiling

By the time I faced the Technicolor riot of a Maryland spring, the birdhouse on the writing balcony had been occupied by carpenter bees the size of your thumb. I’d go out and start typing and one at a time they’d come down and give me a chest bump and say,“I’m here.”I said, “I know.”Every few minutes they’d bang into my face and say it again.“I’m here,” they’d say.I’d say, “I get it.”A nesting pair of house wrens came by t...
3943304

Jason the Roar Bashes "Bakersfield Mist" from Bethesda (or Thereabouts)

Jason Rohrer is on assignment on the East Coast for Bitter Lemons.Actually, that’s a lie.He’s there for a much better reason than that and you can ask him about that reason when he returns. But in the meantime, he can’t help himself and he’s continuing to write theater criticism for Stage and Cinema. As well as giving us some love over here at the Lemon. Just a little.Funny thing is, his latest lashing just happens to be a show that originated here at the Fountain Theatre, was a big...
7633409

Cancer Lobby

8:30 a.m. The lobby of an oncology facility. It’s cloudy and oppressive outside the glass doors, the 20th day of rain in mid-May after a long winter.The crowded room is almost silent. Patients, some in wheelchairs, and their families study floor maps at the elevator. HMO employees move around them, occasionally consulting the maps too.A small coffee kiosk near the elevators. A well-fed middle-aged WOMAN orders from a 24 year old CLERK. A dour middle-aged MAN queues up behind the Woman. Woman: That one.She...
369192

8 Selling Points You Might Want to Rethink

“way better than the first one”“way better than the second one”“franchise”“CGI has come a long way”“Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu”“one-woman show”“90 minutes no intermission”“runs 35 minutes – plenty of time to get to your next Festival purchase”“Anne Bogart”“text-friendly performance”“topical”“retro”“playful”“raw”“a quick read but wort...
8785735

Before Good and Evil

If you’ve spent a semester in a high school or university theater department, if you’ve stage-managed a church production of Oklahoma!, if you’ve acted at the Roundabout or pushed a costume rack at the Guthrie, you know the charged emotional dynamic of a theater. The real reason parents tell their daughters not to go on the stage is that actors like drama, and a theater is a great place to find it. So it is no revelation that cultish theater companies and acting studios lurk among our communities. ...
5481479

Panegyric

Giving offense can get you knocked down. So can bad timing. So can not having enough friends. So can costing your friends money. There are lots of ways to find yourself on your ass in the middle of the street. My friend Colin Mitchell is out of a job because he said the wrong thing. That’s how it goes when your job is to sell people what you think. Sometimes they don’t buy it.I come to bury Colin, not to praise him.For years Colin Mitchell made a policy of pissing people off with this website. ...